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After reading the last entry “Working on Happiness”, one of my readers called me and asked:

What happens if you have an objective, you work on it,  and it doesn’t turn out as you wished? It’s so frustrating … what happens to happiness then?

I don’t have all the answers, but I have worked with many people and I have come to the conclusion that what we were told about “ask and you shall receive” falls somewhat short. Asking is just the first step. If you set yourself a definite objective you must always bear in mind that you make decisions from where you stand at that moment and that you normally don’t know what lies ahead of you, what you will need,  what you will have to work on, what you will have to solve or sacrifice in order to reach your objective. Making and assuming the decision to “go for it no matter what happens” is just the beginning,  many simply drop it there.

Then we realise that as well as the objective and the results we want to reach, we must count on the necessary qualities that we will need to reach those results. What if I decide to be my own boss and work to make it true? Not only will I need an objective and an implementation plan, I will have to develop skills such as self-discipline, determination, work, observation,  preparation … and a great deal more qualities I will need to cover the way.  In order to reach success I will have to work on 20-30 patterns at least. Sometimes it is more important to ask the Universe for guidance in this sense than the actual results.

For example:  A part of me longs for the freedom of being my own boss, having my own business, but there are other parts of  me that can be incompatible with such objective, patterns I will discover, work on and re-program so that they may not block the physical manifestation of the circumstances, ideas and help that the Universe affords us when we have a plan. The energy of advance in these plans will be hindered by negative patterns such as fear of failure, fear of success, or a pattern of laziness, or one that makes me too hasty and therefore  makes me make too many mistakes so that I have to constantly rectify, or I may lack vision of the future, or I am careless with capital that I must invest,  or I chose the wrong collaborators or partners,  or I rush into things without a clear idea of what I want to contribute to the company, or I am afraid of risk, or I risk too much without giving it much thought …

It can also be that if we have had several attempts without success because of all those negative patterns,  we add what we already think and say about our own capacity as a result of our bad experience, such as: “I’m not good enough, I always botch it up,  there’s no point in my trying to do anything,  I always end up with people who let me down …”

On top of it, most people try to learn about the rules of society and yes, they are essential for advance, but we must also study the laws of Nature and of the Universe. If  we observe Nature and its laws we realise they are fair and balanced, Nature regulates itself. Whereas the laws of men are sometimes fair, but not always. The combination of both is what has mankind confused about what we should do in order to get things right  from the start, it is the reason why men don’t understand why the world is the way it is.

By constantly interfering with the laws of Nature and physical manifestation, men end up changing the rules of the game.  Thus, according to man’s criteria, in Nature  the best  is the master. But sometimes, in some human societies, it is stupidity, superficiality, selfishness, pettiness or violence that are most valued, thus removing the best individuals from power and decision-making, simply because the worst are the most valued.  The sole responsibility for this lack of  balance is man’s value system. The crisis of values we are going through is the result of the inability to value what is really important.

The best we can do is to get to know ourselves and understand which values and talents we need to achieve our objectives. If we set ourselves targets but we are not conscious that we need spiritual and psychological work and  tools as well as the physical and material ones, we can be in for a lot of frustration and discouragement.  A self-assessment is the mother of all blessings, and putting those blessings at the service of Nature is our duty.

Some people reach happiness and success by chance, sometimes it is only material, sometimes it is only spiritual, but because it is not  a conscious  happiness it’s unlikely to be  long lasting. Those who seek to experience it and share it on all  levels  -spiritual, mental, emotional and material-  have the worthiest possible objective, that of a soul in search of its own fulfilment.

If only we would take some of  Nature’s  ideas  to achieve this, if we finally decided to serve Nature and not exploit it, we would be doing a lot better.   Service  has a lot to do with our longed for happiness.

Beatriz Fernández del Castillo

http://www.autoevolucion.com

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My much appreciated doggy friends are a constant source of inspiration these days. One of them appeared today radiant with happiness, she had made a great decision that would change her life and she was beside herself with joy. The issue this time was happiness and why it is that when one reaches such a state one tries to perpetuate it, and she asked me for my opinion.

When it comes to happiness there are opinions to suit all tastes, as many as there are definitions for the of the word. The fact is that there isn’t a definite formula for it, but I would like to give some thought to certain aspects of it that sometimes lead to confusion. Is happiness just a question of ‘moments’, as some say? It depends on how you have worked on it.

We have many different roles in life, the lady I’ve been sharing my reflections with today is a daughter, a friend, a colleague, she’s a worker, she goes out partying, she has a lovely –and somewhat of a rascal- dog, she’s a sister, a couple, an ex-couple too … we all have an endless capacity of interpreting roles and each one has its pattern. Patterns can be balanced or not, according to each person’s life experiences, his personal history, his capabilities, his traumas … one can be happy carrying out certain patterns and deeply unhappy in others. We tend to practice more those we are better at and neglect those we are not very good at, and the result are the well-known emotional to’s and fro’s that we find so disorienting.

Happiness is a question of ‘moments’ if the person is happy in just one or two roles, but not in the rest. Some people think it has to do with chance or coincidence. I rather tend to think that happiness is a wonderful mixture of talent, intuition, work, magic, dedication, care, attention, love and commitment … but, above all, of inner work, knowing ourselves, knowing what we really want and striving to achieve it, and do so in most of the roles we carry out in this world.

A very common mistake is to pretend that if happiness is reached in a given aspect of our life this should make up for the need to be happy in other less fortunate ones. Managing to be happy in some aspect and neglecting the rest is usually devastating in the long term, unless the person in question has enough with one or two roles in life. Each to his own. In the end happiness is the quotient between what one wants and what one achieves. In today’s conversation my friend’s sentence came out in a clear and concise way: “At this moment of my life I get everything I want” That is a feeling of personal satisfaction very much related to happiness, but even to want and wish for things, we need to know.

They say, for example, that ‘money doesn’t give happiness’ which is only half true, it can give material happiness, but obviously not family happiness, or happiness in our relationship, or personal fulfilment. Pretending that happiness in one aspect is also responsible for happiness in all the rest is, to say the least, naïve. Nor does happiness in the family necessarily give us personal fulfilment, or happiness with our friends imply happiness in our relationship. Happiness is the combination of many different parts, so I wished my doggy friend that, now that she is feeling so happy, to make the most of her good moment and work on as many aspects of herself as she can, especially those she finds harder, so that the success she has reached in one of them may serve her as inspiration for the rest.

Beatriz Fdez. del Castillo

http://www.autoevolucion.com

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