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Posts Tagged ‘wellbeing’

 

I have recently visited a dear friend who has just had a baby. We talked about the wonderful and undeniably deep change of role that has come about in her life as a result of her motherhood, and we also discussed the need to find a life mission through one’s work, through whichever task or activity we carry out in society.

There are different levels of involvement in life.

– On a first level we find those who are seeking to cover only their basic needs such as food, drink, entertainment, consumption, relationships … and not much more. Normally they don’t contribute much to society and they benefit more from society than they generate. They show a lack of respect for other people’s work and disregard the  basic standards of life in common, (they don’t recycle, they pester neighbours, they’re disrespectful towards teachers and seniors …) because they only think of  their own benefit and not of benefiting others. They  misuse all the goods they are given,  including their own life and health, they are the people who tend to demand from society more than they are ready contribute.

The second level includes people involved in improving only their own private lives: a better house, better relationships, a better job that will give them a better status, better physical appearance and better health: happiness through material and emotional issues.  They work to cover their own needs and at the most those of the company they work for, after all they’re getting paid for it, but that’s it.  These people don’t think of  common good or common interests, only of their own. They can misuse, neglect or squander the goods and services at their disposal, whether by ignorance or carelessness.  Some are well-meaning and try to find solutions that will help them advance in their personal satisfaction, and that can make them feel they want to progress.

– On a third level we find people who understand helping  themselves and helping others, who  contribute the best of themselves to society, who  try to do their bit not only for their own wellbeing but also for that of other people who may need their help, their intelligence or their solutions.  They find a new dimension in their work realising they  can give a new meaning to their activity beyond their own benefit, they contribute their creativity as an added value in everything they do. In this level individuals transcend the family and  think of changing and improving the society in which they live.

A good example would be this place in Madrid where they make the most incredible cakes .  I buy there every now and then and because the quality is so exceptional I once asked the baker and owner of the shop why he had decided to start precisely that business. He answered that knowing he was good at making cakes he had decided to make people happy by sweetening their lives. And indeed he does!  He put his gift at the service of other people’s happiness: that’s what I call a higher motivation that gives sense to an activity, whichever it may be. It’s not just working for money, it is finding a reward in making other people happy with  whatever it is that you’re good at, using a natural gift, in this case that of making those wonderful cakes.  A simple activity suddenly becomes an accomplished mission.

In this third level work has a different meaning, some people feel that their activity transcends, that it has an actual repercussion on other people’s lives, it makes them better, there is a purpose,  that of improving what there is.

–  The fourth level, the least practiced, includes individuals with a vocation for service, those who see the world as a whole, as a higher spiritual plan where we are all called to contribute. What’s important in this level, apart from “my” personal and immediate family plan, is to contribute to THE  GENERAL PLAN with the best we have, the gift we were given at birth, the capacities and skills that one loves.

In this level the soul is always involved, it’s not just the personality that sets the targets any more, it’s the soul that seeks good from the deepest of human being, guiding him or her by means of signs, happy encounters, sinchronicity and  magic. At this level it is not just personal pleasure that counts, but general wellbeing.

We all have a gift, those who don’t  use it, who don’t develop it, who don’t care for it or improve it, those who don’t put it to the service of mankind,  finally lose it, thus missing  the intimate joy of the service rendered to mankind. In this level people think in terms of improving the world using the best they have received, their personal gift.  Through his activity, the individual’s purpose is to change not only his family and society, but the world, improving it where he can, even in the smallest things; added to others with the same purpose, the changes are significant. And they do so in spite of negative people, those who couldn’t care less, who think only of themselves and those in levels 1 and 2 who find it so hard to believe that their help is also necessary.

In this level one doesn’t think  in terms only of one’s own and other people’s interest,  it is about seeking to improve, to contribute one’s creativity to the wellbeing of those who will come after us, to one’s country, to the continent, to the whole world, the planet that welcomes us, to nature, to animals, to the wellbeing of everything alive. In this level are those who love this planet, those who love, respect and care for life and nature, who seek to benefit and preserve it, not just use it and waste it.

In the fourth level are those who work to form coming generations, those who research for the future, those who undertake projects they will probably not see completed because they have been conceived for the long term, those who seek to create a new and better concept of living, those who prevent, who create solutions and at the same time live and care for their environment.   Whether they are believers or not, their viewpoint is to elevate and spiritualize their experience in the material plane.

Believe me, one only has to set a higher intention in one’s mind to start out on a new adventure and find a new concept of happiness, that of the souls involved not only in personal evolution and happiness, but also in the evolution and happiness of what we call mankind of which we are all part. The mind gives us the ideas appropriate to our intention, if we rise our intention we channel a higher energy.

Some other day we will talk about intention, it seems this text is asking for it … in the meantime, take good care of yourselves.

Beatriz Fernández del Castillo

http://www.autoevolucion.com

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This year I have had the opportunity to identify some people who were the perfect embodiment of the pattern of an emotional predator. In spite of their different ages and the fact that they belonged to different generations, their speech, their attitude, their modus operandi, were so similar that they were the perfect example of a very common behaviour in our time: that of the emotional predator.  I must say it is more frequent among men than among women.

A pattern is a system of ideas, emotions, attitudes and behaviours that  governs human beings and organizes them according to predictable, identifiable behavioural patterns.  People who think alike usually feel the same and have similar attitudes and actions.

Archetypes would be the source of these patterns, the original ones, according to Plato the perfect moulds, ideals deriving from the mind of God, ideals that influence us from the collective unconscious. Patterns are human derivations that are far less than perfect, resulting from change, from the world, from life, from circumstances, etc. … The world changes and by extension so do the collective patterns that rule us.

Although many people compare them, emotional predators are different from emotional vampires. Emotional predators are only after their own emotional advantage –generally involving sexual advantage-  regardless of any collateral damage they might cause. They are hedonistic, they are apparently happy, they are manipulators and they know well  other people’s weaknesses which they use to their own advantage. They usually have good social skills, are sexually attractive and have brilliant personalities in some aspects, although they also lack empathy and  don’t understand or notice the damage they cause in others.

How do we spot them? I’ll use as examples two cases, a man and a woman whom I have come across recently. Both are apparently charming and attractive, but they have  different motivations. He is the typical predator,  only prompted by the sheer pleasure of the conquest and oblivious of  the pain he may cause to his prey.  She is not so typical, she is moved by the pleasure of feeling loved and valued, but she is equally remorseless when she misuses her charm with others. None of the two wish to change, they show an apparent but ultimately false self-confidence and during the “hunt”  they both forget the main law that rules this Universe, that of CAUSE and EFFECT, which will  make them in turn the victims of other predators equally heedless of their suffering. Unfortunately, those who answer to this pattern, due to their lack of empathy, only learn by experiencing a taste of their own medicine.

They justify their attitude by saying that they warn others in advance of their intentions; they speak openly of their sexuality showing off in this aspect and  some of them even scorn the good use of relationships and sex, using others with complete disregard for their wellbeing.

The pattern of the good lover would be to use –not abuse-  the other, caring for and trying to benefit him or her .

In their eagerness to justify their own conduct, no matter how unacceptable, they  argue  that they respect any sexual attitude, ultimately trying to make others accept their conducts so as to ensure their power and their territory.

But they are also victims of themselves, even if they appear happy and cool; they dread serious relationships and always move in shallow waters.  As soon as anybody comes too near they scare away in their weakness,  end up eaten up by solitude, falling back into the vicious circle of the compulsive hunter, hoping to fill the void of a life without true love, full of emotional to’s and fro’s which they take for passion. Many of them in their childhood or as teenagers were victims of other predators and have eventually become one of them.  But that does not relieve them from responsibility, more importantly it should be treated as a challenge to end  the victim-aggressor circle.

The problem lies in the possible unsuspecting victims that cannot identify the emotional danger, no matter how obvious it appears. The lack of self-esteem prevents them from rejecting a charming person who approaches them showing interest and affection, even if false, self-interested or momentaneous; men or women with a feeling of emptiness, or who have gone through difficult circumstances in their lives, or have grown up without a family or essential values will always make an easy prey. If they fall into a predator’s clutches they may think it is an acceptable attitude and become one of them, there is a part of society that encourages and even values such behaviours.

If you come across an emotional predator and he or she is looking at you as their possible target, just wait, it won’t take long before they show their true colours. It is not a good idea to think one can  save them, a mistake  many naïve souls make in their eagerness to help and which they usually pay dearly for.  Always remember that  “two can’t play if one doesn’t want to”.

And if you acknowledge yourself as one of them, remember the film “Fatal Attraction” (Glenn Close and Michael Douglas), or even the popular sayings that a wise friend of mine reminded me of the other day and which I completely agree with: “what goes around comes around” or “you pick what you sow”.

The misuse of something or somebody by using them to one’s own advantage and to another’s disadvantage always has the consequences it deserves. Fortunately, anything that is not done in mutual benefit will generate the Law of Cause-Effect. And don’t get over-confident if it has worked for you so far, apparently without negative consequences, the Universe ALWAYS returns what you give, whether it is good or bad … at least that never fails.  Take care how you treat others, some day you’ll be treated the same way.

Beatriz Fernández del Castillo

http://www.autoevolucion.com

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