Posts Tagged ‘help’


I have recently visited a dear friend who has just had a baby. We talked about the wonderful and undeniably deep change of role that has come about in her life as a result of her motherhood, and we also discussed the need to find a life mission through one’s work, through whichever task or activity we carry out in society.

There are different levels of involvement in life.

– On a first level we find those who are seeking to cover only their basic needs such as food, drink, entertainment, consumption, relationships … and not much more. Normally they don’t contribute much to society and they benefit more from society than they generate. They show a lack of respect for other people’s work and disregard the  basic standards of life in common, (they don’t recycle, they pester neighbours, they’re disrespectful towards teachers and seniors …) because they only think of  their own benefit and not of benefiting others. They  misuse all the goods they are given,  including their own life and health, they are the people who tend to demand from society more than they are ready contribute.

The second level includes people involved in improving only their own private lives: a better house, better relationships, a better job that will give them a better status, better physical appearance and better health: happiness through material and emotional issues.  They work to cover their own needs and at the most those of the company they work for, after all they’re getting paid for it, but that’s it.  These people don’t think of  common good or common interests, only of their own. They can misuse, neglect or squander the goods and services at their disposal, whether by ignorance or carelessness.  Some are well-meaning and try to find solutions that will help them advance in their personal satisfaction, and that can make them feel they want to progress.

– On a third level we find people who understand helping  themselves and helping others, who  contribute the best of themselves to society, who  try to do their bit not only for their own wellbeing but also for that of other people who may need their help, their intelligence or their solutions.  They find a new dimension in their work realising they  can give a new meaning to their activity beyond their own benefit, they contribute their creativity as an added value in everything they do. In this level individuals transcend the family and  think of changing and improving the society in which they live.

A good example would be this place in Madrid where they make the most incredible cakes .  I buy there every now and then and because the quality is so exceptional I once asked the baker and owner of the shop why he had decided to start precisely that business. He answered that knowing he was good at making cakes he had decided to make people happy by sweetening their lives. And indeed he does!  He put his gift at the service of other people’s happiness: that’s what I call a higher motivation that gives sense to an activity, whichever it may be. It’s not just working for money, it is finding a reward in making other people happy with  whatever it is that you’re good at, using a natural gift, in this case that of making those wonderful cakes.  A simple activity suddenly becomes an accomplished mission.

In this third level work has a different meaning, some people feel that their activity transcends, that it has an actual repercussion on other people’s lives, it makes them better, there is a purpose,  that of improving what there is.

–  The fourth level, the least practiced, includes individuals with a vocation for service, those who see the world as a whole, as a higher spiritual plan where we are all called to contribute. What’s important in this level, apart from “my” personal and immediate family plan, is to contribute to THE  GENERAL PLAN with the best we have, the gift we were given at birth, the capacities and skills that one loves.

In this level the soul is always involved, it’s not just the personality that sets the targets any more, it’s the soul that seeks good from the deepest of human being, guiding him or her by means of signs, happy encounters, sinchronicity and  magic. At this level it is not just personal pleasure that counts, but general wellbeing.

We all have a gift, those who don’t  use it, who don’t develop it, who don’t care for it or improve it, those who don’t put it to the service of mankind,  finally lose it, thus missing  the intimate joy of the service rendered to mankind. In this level people think in terms of improving the world using the best they have received, their personal gift.  Through his activity, the individual’s purpose is to change not only his family and society, but the world, improving it where he can, even in the smallest things; added to others with the same purpose, the changes are significant. And they do so in spite of negative people, those who couldn’t care less, who think only of themselves and those in levels 1 and 2 who find it so hard to believe that their help is also necessary.

In this level one doesn’t think  in terms only of one’s own and other people’s interest,  it is about seeking to improve, to contribute one’s creativity to the wellbeing of those who will come after us, to one’s country, to the continent, to the whole world, the planet that welcomes us, to nature, to animals, to the wellbeing of everything alive. In this level are those who love this planet, those who love, respect and care for life and nature, who seek to benefit and preserve it, not just use it and waste it.

In the fourth level are those who work to form coming generations, those who research for the future, those who undertake projects they will probably not see completed because they have been conceived for the long term, those who seek to create a new and better concept of living, those who prevent, who create solutions and at the same time live and care for their environment.   Whether they are believers or not, their viewpoint is to elevate and spiritualize their experience in the material plane.

Believe me, one only has to set a higher intention in one’s mind to start out on a new adventure and find a new concept of happiness, that of the souls involved not only in personal evolution and happiness, but also in the evolution and happiness of what we call mankind of which we are all part. The mind gives us the ideas appropriate to our intention, if we rise our intention we channel a higher energy.

Some other day we will talk about intention, it seems this text is asking for it … in the meantime, take good care of yourselves.

Beatriz Fernández del Castillo



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This week-end a much appreciated doggy friend (her dog and mine hang out in the same circles) and I were discussing the meaning of HELP. We were talking about energetic “vampirism”, the person who asks for help, who receives it, who enjoys getting it, but can’t or won’t to reciprocate,   keeps asking for  more without contributing,  like a bottomless pit.

I was saying how important it is to know how to give help those who make good use of it, who put it in practice, who are grateful for it, in short, who deserve it. My friend’s question was then, “What about altruism?”… and her question sparked off this blog entry. Every moment is an opportunity to improve our thinking…

Understanding altruism:

Case 1: THE HELPER helps the HELPED. This person, in turn, full of gratitude and appreciation, will learn to help himself and becomes the helper of the next person to receive help.

The help of the first helper will reach thousands, appreciation will  encourage him to continue helping, those who have been helped will help in turn, energy flows.  In this case the HELPER is aware that it is oneself that one should help in the first place, keep well in order  to help others. And the person who has been helped experiences the joy of giving and returning.

Result  = ABUNDANCE, everybody wins.

Altruism misunderstood:

Case 2: The HELPER helps the HELPED. This person  takes advantage of the help he receives but doesn’t learn  to help others or help himself, he doesn’t put this help into practice, he doesn’t help himself or the next person who needs help, and yet he keeps asking for help until he leaves the helper drained and exhausted (which is often the case with kind-hearted souls)

Help is wasted on  souls who are not aware that we are here to make energy flow,  not to waste it. The helped person in this case normally does not  acknowledge the effort of the  helper who,  in turn, does not feel encouraged to help any further (some helpers, thank God, no longer need this recognition, but they do deserve it). Such “bottomless pits” block the source of help by drying it up and leaving it incapable of helping others, and if on top of this they don’t use adequately the help they have received, the energy stops flowing  and is blocked.

Result = SHORTAGE.  Only a few people win, and because they don’t know how to keep what has been won, in the end it is lost… and we wonder why the world is the way it is. The person who receives should give back what he can, because even those who are most in need always have  something to give back (work, attention, company, recognition) , and those who have more  can lack in something. The person that doesn’t give doesn’t do so because he doesn’t want to, with few exceptions.  True altruism is knowing how to keep the balance, otherwise it is energetic “vampirism”, misuse of energy, the typical cheeky opportunist or, as my mother used to say, a bloodsucker.

Responsible parents know that, before adolescence, much before I would say, kids should assume their duty to give back to  society part of what they have received, and those who don’t know that is because their parents haven’t taught them to do so. The same applies to the helper who is exhausted  and “vampirized”: he must learn to take better care of his energy, of his own source, and  not give away what he doesn’t have.

You may ask, for example, what about the elderly  who can no longer give? This statement is untrue. The elderly can give gratitude, wisdom, experience. They have spent their lives helping the generations behind them, those same generations who should know how to thank them and reciprocate with the same care.

What about the people in Africa? Anyone who has ever been to Africa will tell you that they have come back with far more than they went; new spiritual gifts in exchange for material ones….

One’s personal energy should be taken care of, should be balanced out continuously. Mother nature gives us a true example of giving and receiving. Unconditional love exists in reference to maternity at a very young age, but when the receiver starts to become aware, automatically the receptor must become a giver to balance out their “energy bill”.

When I watch Supernanny, TV’s wise fixing-mediator, doing  magic with the almost single formula of establishing reasonable rules, giving tasks and responsibilities, I feel she deserves the best. That really is what setting an example is all about… and everything else is just half measures.

Except in extreme cases, such as disability, handicap or illness, people who don’t  contribute to the community with their gifts, who  burden others with responsibilities that don’t concern them, …  do they really deserve to be helped or supported? Everyone has something to contribute.

GOOD HELP SHOULD BE MUTUAL, the other type of help, the one that does not reciprocate, in the long run is a source of disagreements, frustrations, reproaches and negative energy. The recognition of the source of help and the contribution of ones gifts to those who need them, who value them and make a good responsible use of them, will transform  and improve us  until we become the channel of a never ending stream of energy-in-action. That is true abundance and the true understanding of altruism, and not the other stuff.


Beatriz Fernández del Castillo


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